Once upon a time I had a bunch of friends. I’m not sure that I was a great friend, because I’m not sure I knew how to be one.
When I was in elementary school, I had a best friend. I knew she was my best friend because she told me I was her best friend. Life was fantastic. Until a few days later, when I found out she had about ten best friends, and I wasn’t even a favorite best friend. I was devastated.
Years and a long string of friends later, I had a baby. The doctors said he might not survive, and if he did, he wouldn’t be able to do much. And in some ways they were right, but not in the most important ways.
Something shifted in me when I held that tiny, fragile boy. All the things that seemed so important in my life suddenly seemed so small and petty. Trappings of life, worries that I had clung to, people who demanded a lot of time – I didn’t drop them like a bad habit; they dropped me and saved me the trouble.
One by one, my closer friends seemed to vanish, but under the circumstances, I didn’t really care. This time being the tenth favorite best friend didn’t bother me enough to give any of my mental energy. It couldn’t. I didn’t have any mental energy left over.
However, one by one, new friends came along. Not only were these friends not demanding, they came along and lightened the load. They didn’t take mental energy, they gave mental energy – usually in the form of laughter.
People a lot smarter than me have researched the benefits of laughter, and the benefits are pretty amazing. Go look it up. It’s pretty cool.
As the years have gone by, I’ve tried to be that friend back to the ones who have given me so much and pour help and laughter into others who need it at the time.
You see, friendships aren’t hard, they are easy. They come with mutual love and respect and a desire to hope for good things for someone other than yourself.
So, a little boy and a tragic circumstance taught me this:
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
